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Have you ever been sad for seemingly no reason?
I mean really melancholy as if something has happened.
You can't really point to anything in particular, but, dammit, there it is.
I think it could happen after any extended period of time where you had to shake things off and just keep rolling.
Like one of those bruises you suddenly find on yourself but don't remember how it could have gotten there.
You reckon you probably crashed into something during the course of your day and didn't have time at that moment to stop and acknowledge it, but, now it's sore and hard to ignore.
The same thing goes on with your heart and/or mind.
Soon or later, whether we can pinpoint why or what or when, that soreness seeps out thru the cracks and makes you think 'Where the hell is this coming from now?!?'
That's the kind of day I've had.
I know it won't last because there are lovely things in my life that will help wash that feeling away.
There are those who find the balance between the dark and bright sides of their lives have reversed themselves dramatically and, after awhile, don't see the point in getting back up only to be knocked down again.
It's that willingness and wherewithal to rally one more time that makes or breaks us.
I have had my share of wondering what the point of carrying on is.
I'm not talking about suicide here.
Fuck, no!
I'm perfectly willing to leave the dirty job of getting rid of me to others.
I just mean mustering up the positivity to give myself yet another pep talk to get back on the horse that threw me and kicked me in the head on the way to the ground without feeling like I'm kidding myself.
And if I can't talk myself into it I'll be damned if Shakespeare could find the words.
Not even Stephen Fry!
At least not until I'm ready to listen.
Of course, by the time I'm soliciting wisdom it usually means I've dragged myself up to a place where I'm ready to do something about my situation.
Advice and opinions from people I respect and trust are always helpful at that point.
I just have to convince myself of where I wanna go before I ask for directions. ~


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